110309;RELATIONSHIPS! HEARTBREAK! DOUBT! ehh. (go back »)

Ruthie doesn't know =/ Ehhhhhh, so i was talking to a friend today. Yes a dude! but like somehow our convo led to the boofrann ? LOL. funny. But he was just like, " I don't even know you that well, but i can really tell you love him, and miss him even if he's far away from you now. and i can tell you don't trust him cause he's a big flirt ! OMG OMG! A dude called my babe a big flirt! rofl. kinda funny. I was like OMG- i so* trust him. But now to think of it, I don't know why I decided to put my trust in him. I've had my heart torn to pieces trusting someone before, that i was afraid to ever trust a guy ever again. But I feel like I can trust him, you know? All the crap I've been through has made a a bit of a stronger person, all the tears i shed, made me realize so much. I hate crying, but when i cry, I realize so much. ROFL. Im a sensitive loser face, that's what i am. After I talked to him today, I felt all bubbly. I think it was all the cheese I ate on my spaghetti my brother madeee =) LOL! But yeah, I'm a stronger person, I kinda don't give a freak what anyone has to say anymore- lol i said kinda; alot of things get to me still ! I always think about him, constantly, constantly...I'm a more stable person now, I'm a physically tough girl- but a pain i can never take in is heartbreak. I can break a leg, break a bone, and get up like it's nothing. But heartbreak always clings to me. I felt it one time too many, that I'm so afraid of it now. I trust him, I really do. But today he kinda doubted me. LOL, naw fereaaals? ; chyeah FEREALS. He was like you're over friendly sometimes, and stuff like that and basically it was a pang of doubt he was trying to express. I understand, maybe he has trust issues too? Maybe he's felt some sort of heartbreak as well, i guess? i d k, but I try to understand too. It hurts to know he doesn't kinda trust me like I trust him, but it's A-OKAY ;D cause, really, I don't want anyone else anymore now that i got him. I find no flaws on him. I wonder if he talks about me, like i talk about him. And I know for fact, I'm not the only girl in the world that wonders these things. We never really argued, I hate arguing- UGH! Because i hate crying. When I argue- i cry. When I'm mad- i cry. When I'm sad- i cry. So why argue with a person you love? To me, arguing is stupid. I don't understand why some couples argue all the time and say the cruelist things to eachother, I MEAN WHERE IS THE LOVE, PEOPLE?! shoot. lol! Really, I don't see the point in arguing. I hate it, PUH-REE-UDDD. I don't wanna argue with him, i don't wanna risk what we have. That's the honest truth. I really love him, it's hard for me to like/love someone too. He's just someone that's worth my time, and worth the wait. *sigh yep. all i gota say for now.